Goonies

Currently only in Theaters

Runtime: 1 Hour and 54 Minutes

Rated PG

A group of four kids (Mickey, Mouth, Data, and Mouth) find a pirate’s treasure map and set off on a once in a life time adventure to find “One Eye Willie’s” booty in hopes of saving their houses from being turned into a country club. After a few missteps, a family of criminals stumble onto what they are searching for and decide to take the booty for themselves and make the Goonies walk the plank!

Themes:

Adventure, pirates, legends, treasure maps, country clubs, foreclosure, gangsters, booby traps, friends, asthma, family, love, Sloth and Chunk, Goonies, and never saying die.

Language: “Goonies never say die.”

A*s - 1 D*mn - 3 Hell - 10 Piss - 2 Sh*t - 12 Wuss - 2 Religious Exclamations - 26

One character says, “son of a…” but he doesn’t finish it.

Stuff to be aware of:

Scary - There are multiple scenes with skeletons and thugs threatening children. Some of the skeletons have bugs crawling out of their eyes. There is a piano made of bones, with the upper part of a skeleton on it.

Sexual - A small statue of David gets broken with his penis being snapped off. This becomes a gag with the kids trying to reattach it. A joke about sexual torture devices is made. In another scene, a boy sticks his tongue through a painting to make it looks like it’s coming out of a woman’s face on the other side and makes a joke about wanting a kiss.

A joke is made about making out with a girl and her mom. In another scene thee is a guy looking at a girls legs in his rear view mirror. One boy teases another boy about having naked pictures of his mom in the bathtub.

A teen boy and girl keep trying to kiss and finally don’t get interrupted. In another scene, a bunch of older men are in a shower at a country club. Only their bear chests are seen. This is followed by a kid sitting on a toilet with his pants down. His bear legs are seen, but his privates are covered.

Some guys talk about “making it” with a girl. In another scene, a bunch of boys are peeing, but only their backs are seen. During this scene a boy and a girl kiss.

Violence/Gore - In the very beginning of the movie a man fakes his death by making it look like he hung himself. A man is killed off screen and put in a freezer. His body falls out and lands on one of the kids. A bullet hole can clearly be seen in the dead mans forehead. The dead man’s eyes are open and the kid freak outs. All the other kids pull the body off him.

Sloth, a man with some deformities, is locked up and mistreated. A man throws food at him and he is chained to a chair.

The bad guys stick a boy’s hand in a blender, but he doesn’t get hurt.

Other - A boy purposely translates a woman’s instructions into Spanish and changes the instructions to be about putting certain illegal drugs in certain places.

Overall:

Seeing It With Your Family

If you watched this on cable as a kid (like I did), it is likely that a lot of the cursing was edited out. There was a lot more than I remembered. It also has some pretty intense scenes. This was one I wanted to share with my children, but I ended up needing to wait until they got a bit older and didn’t scare so easily.

What I Thought

This one is a classic and was what I hoped would happen to me as a kid. I dreamed about finding a treasure map and outwitting bandits. Sadly, I never experienced it in real life. I guess I will just have to live vicariously through the movie. They don’t make them like this anymore.